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This may happen because many lesbians and gay men believe that the amount of negative media surrounding the lesbian and gay community is overwhelming without adding sexual and dating violence to it.

This way of thinking can be very dangerous, not just for the victims of dating violence, but for the community in general.

"I thought, 'Oh, he's just jealous; it's the drinking,' and I let it go. No drugs, but lots of drinking."The second time was worse.

"He was angry at something—I can't remember what—and I was laughing," said Chris.

“You can be just as controlling of someone if you are small — as if you’re large.

It’s about using violence or any other means of gaining and maintaining control.” Myths about domestic violence, victims’ fear and shame, a silence that stems from a desire not to harm perceptions of the LGBT community — all these together contribute to making the problem invisible to others.

There has not been research on dating or domestic violence in the bisexual or transgender community, so we are soley commenting on abuse in gay and lesbian relationships.

By understanding how much harder it can be for young people to report abuse if they identify as LGBTQ, we can begin to make meaningful changes that will remove those obstacles for good.The CDC’s 2010 National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey, released again in 2013 with new analysis, reports in its first-ever study focusing on victimization by sexual orientation that the lifetime prevalence of rape, physical violence, or stalking by an intimate partner was 43.8 percent for lesbians, 61.1 percent for bisexual women, and 35 percent for heterosexual women, while it was 26 percent for gay men, 37.3 percent for bisexual men, and 29 percent for heterosexual men (this study did not include gender identity or expression).These studies refute the myths that only straight women get battered, that men are never victims, and that women never batter — in other words, that domestic violence is not an LGBT issue.The National Violence Against Women survey found that 21.5 percent of men and 35.4 percent of women living with a same-sex partner experienced intimate-partner physical violence in their lifetimes, compared with 7.1 percent and 20.4 percent for men and women, respectively, with a history of only opposite-sex cohabitation.Transgender respondents had an incidence of 34.6 percent over a lifetime according to a Massachusetts survey.

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Abusive partners may suggest that police and counselors will be homophobic, thus causing the victim not to seek help.

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