And it’s not just for celebrities-according to a 2008 AARP poll, almost one-third of women between the ages of 40 and 69 date men who are 10 or more years younger. What will Madonna have to do to make sure her relationship lasts longer than , for some advice. “The assumption that a younger man will inevitably cheat on an older woman is part of the historic nonsense by which women are made to feel fearful, valueless and undesirable,” she says. Judging from, infidelity is by far the biggest issue cougars face.Look at Halle Berry and Eva Longoria, who ended their relationships when their younger men allegedly strayed with younger women.Men have to compete in order to win her approval while a woman gets to pick and choose who she wants based on whatever arbitrary standards she feels like in the moment.To start with, there are plenty of women out there who aren’t rolling into a bar and rolling out with a bedmate.We had a ball, we played the field, basked in what we thought was the adoration of young women, and lived a playboy lifestyle.Little did we know at the time that our Indonesian friends were secretly laughing at us. We were ten years older, hitting middle age, with beer-bellies, no hair and a bank account drained by a decade of fancy living we couldn’t afford. We e-mailed friends across the world, Iceland, London, Washington DC., all Jakarta alumni and they all told the same story: UB40, as the band name goes. Someone mentioned a 2000 movie called the ‘Tao of Steve,” which offered alluring promises.
Many of the girls we thought adored us were simply looking to trade up what they thought was a piece of the American or Australian dream after years of conditioning by movies and TV. Most of it you could’ve got from your Uncle (if you were lucky enough to have a functional one): be confident. Be chivalrous, even if feminist websites like tell you it’s dead and chauvinist.It doesn’t help that women have been wired for centuries to equate their worth with youth and beauty. “It is often the limiting thoughts a woman has absorbed that can create problems for the couple,” says Winter.“If she is fearful, insecure and doubting her merit, she will never be able to accept that her younger man loves her.” Winter adds that media reports about Demi Moore’s obsession with looking young are “the perfect example of how the ideal of youth and beauty can torture even the most lovely example of a modern-day woman.” The idea that one must maintain an illusion of youth to keep a younger partner is illogical. “It's an up-front buy that he's willing to accept, because he values the totality of who she is and what she brings to his life.” Talk about family planning.I’ve noticed that there’s a topic that comes up repeatedly when it comes to talking about dating issues, whether it’s about the problems with being a Nice Guy, online dating, or even just approaching new people: the idea that women hold all of the power in dating.They are The Choosers, the gatekeepers to the Promised Land, cruel temptresses who taunt men by being attractive and yet unavailable.
The idea is that because it is supposedly easier for women to find a sexual partner than it is for a man, they are the dominant force, the buyer in a buyer’s market.